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Tuesday, 14 February 2017

Reasons why I hate 50 Shades of Grey

Like any other girl who heard about the hype and got curious, I picked up a copy of 50 Shades of Grey. I managed to get up to chapter 27 (which is more than three quarters of the way through) before I decided my life and time was far too precious to waste on a book which I could not enjoy. And here are the reasons why:

1. Anastasia Steele is living independently with a flat mate and they both go to uni together, studying different courses. The book is set in 2011 and yet Anastasia does not have her own laptop. Instead she borrows her friend’s laptop to do her assignment. If you are enrolled on any university degree programme and are living in 2011, there is absolutely no way you would be able to lend your laptop to your friend. Furthermore, an independent girl of 2011 would not want to go to her friend for all her computing needs.

 2. Anastasia Steele thinks that spanking is the same as domestic violence. If she has a problem with it, then she should not have consented to it when Christian Grey asked her before the spanking commenced.

3. E.L James’ writing is insanely repetitive that I felt as though I could easily write Part 4 for the sequel without anyone being any the wiser. Just write about your inner goddess purring away while your subconscious called you a slut!

4. 50 Shades of Grey was written as a fan fiction to the Twilight series. The actors in the Twilight movies are all in their 20s. E.L James is a woman in her 50s. This means that while the rest of the world was watching these movies innocently, E.L James let her mind roam free with crazy, creepy thoughts.

 5. I get that this book is supposed to be about the kinky sexual relationship between Anastasia and Christian and that they could not keep their hands off each other but some things were simply ridiculous. I do not know any woman, no matter how wild, would be willing to have sex with their boyfriend in their boyfriend’s parents’ house on the day she meets the parents for the first time. I mean, seriously E.L James.....That’s no way to conduct yourself!!

6. Christian Grey thinks it is okay to put a used condom in his pockets. I do not need to elaborate; this is absolutely disgusting!

7. Anastasia lives independently. She is studies English Literature and wants to be a journalist and she holds a part time job in a DIY store and yet E.L James insists on playing up to her virginity and tries to make out she has no experience in this world whatsoever. 

8. Christian Grey is a 27 year old self-made millionaire.....oh come on!! No 27 year old man in 2011 can ever be a self-made millionaire.

9. In the contract that Christian draws up, he specifically mentions no children or animal will be used in their sex sessions. This should go without saying. But clearly, this was a disclaimer from E.L James to let us know that she does not endorse animal and child sex. Having this in the contract is so unnecessary for the readers. The only thing it does is take us out of the story and inform us the writer is not over-the-top creepy, just creepy enough.

10. I was fully expecting a really, really scandalous story. But all I got was a single man and a single woman hook up and experience consentual (and contracted) kinky sex. Big deal!!

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